Day 1...
Welp, we're officially "on the list". After over a year of trainings, inspections, doctors' visits, background checks, and Brene Brown videos, we're officially in the pool of qualified parents. Now the waiting and anticipation begins; every missed call invites anxiety, every hour that I can't check email, concern that I may be missing out on 'my child'.
So, in the true fashion of being the super Type A person that I am, I decided that rather than just sit around and do nothing for the next weeks (days, months??), I'd start a blog, together with my amazing husband, Trey, in order to help people understand what the process of being a foster parent is like, and maybe help ourselves in the process.
For this first post, I thought I'd quell some common misconceptions about being a foster parent:
- You have to be married to be a foster parent. NOPE - Single, married, same-sex, hetero; anyone who truly wants to be a parent (and is willing and able to meet the requirements) and provide a loving home can be a foster parent!
- You will be overwhelmed because you will get a child you can't take care of. WELL, let's be honest, parenthood is going to be overwhelming no matter what. But, if you've ruled out fostering because you're scared that you will give up all control over the child who joins your home and the level of care they need, that is not true. You get to work with your case manager to define the parameters of comfort for your family.
- Foster parents just do it for the money. Unless there is some secret society of foster parents getting secret payouts somewhere, this couldn't be further from the truth. While you don't have to be rich to be a foster parent, there are costs involved with the licensing and home preparation involved to get approved to foster; I would estimate Trey and I spent around $1,000 last year before we even bought a thing for our child.
- Anyone can be a foster parent. Anyone who wants to commit the time to becoming a foster parent can absolutely become a foster parent, but it does require time! Trey and I attended six 8 hour trainings on everything from trust based relational intervention, to diversity, to attachment theory. That was in addition to the state-mandated online courses and tests that were required, the fingerprinting and background checks, the loads of paperwork, and the complete child-proofing of the home. Oh, and the fire and health inspections performed by the city. And don't let us forget the home study in which we were questioned for hours by a complete stranger on very personal topics.
But, it's important, and I know it's going to be the most rewarding thing I've ever done, and I can't wait! And I will continue to wait, for as long as it takes to complete our family...
